Excerpts from the e-mail “You know you’re from Missouri when…”

You’ve never met any celebrities.
Everyone in your family has been on a “float trip.”
“Vacation” means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun, or Six Flags.
You’ve seen all the biggest bands 10 years after they were popular.
You measure distance in minutes and hours rather than miles.
“Down south” to you means Arkansas.
You know several people who’ve hit a deer.
Your school classes were closed due to cold.
Your school classes were closed due to heat.
You know what a “party cove” is.
You’ve never had to switch from heat to AC in the same day.
You know what’s knee-high by the 4th of July.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of year.
You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.
You end sentences with an un-necessary preposition. Ex: “Where’s my coat at?”
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car and think everyone else should, too.
You went to skating parties as a kid.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but needs six for sports.
You’ll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.
You think deer season is a national holiday.
You know Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, Columbia is halfway between Kansas City and St. Louis, and the Warrenton Outlet Mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.
You’ve said, “It’s not the heat; it’s the humidity!”
You can’t think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of summer during a thunderstorm.
You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Construction.
You know it another Missourian is from the Bootheel, Ozarks, Eastern, Middle or Western Missouri as soon as they open their mouths.
You know Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney, and Mark Twain are from Missouri.
You think a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.


Yup, I’m from Missouri all right.