Monday, April 28, 2008

childrenAll those poor children St. Louis, Missouri, 1997

They line the highways, or sometimes they assume the shape of miniature cemeteries. The little white crosses, each for a life never created, for all to see. Oh, the little smiles and the little clothes and the little beats on the ceiling from the second story bedroom at bedtime that will never be... And oh, the collective guilt we should feel, so they say, for letting the slaughter continue. So passionate on this issue they are! They construct these abortion “cemeteries” all over the country, stage protests, enact legislation, print tracts, and harass and disturb the populace with pictures of aborted fetuses, all to ultimately, outlaw abortion. Enthusiasm wrapped around righteousness, covering the directed heart of a modern American zealot.

When I started writing what was to become what this is now, I felt strongly about the aspect of choice. To have or not have an abortion was no one else’s business. And it still isn’t. But now, my answer remains the same, but with a very different perspective on why this option is important: Range of circumstance and the singular spiritual impact between the God Force and person(s) involved that no one else, none of us, is able to comprehend. God works in mysterious ways y’all. Don’t you think that, if the fetus were really meant to be a baby, God would allow the abortion to happen?

The point that really grates my nerves about the whole “Pro-Life” trip is this: That because you are not “Pro-Life,” you are, by default, “Pro-Death.” This little if/then construct forms the basis of what is fundamentally ingrained within the collective consciousness, though not articulated by all, in the anti-abortion movement. This little thought compels thousands of mommies and daddies and little baby parrots to throw themselves and roll around in front of Planned Parenthood’s, and now, the homes of doctors who still perform abortions.

They demonstrate in Washington D.C. every January to mark the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. They want media visibility. They sling fetuses around in crowds and plant bombs. They tell 14 year old girls that they’ll go to hell if they abort their babies, and those 14 year old girls will believe that for the rest of their miserable lives, no matter what option they ultimately choose. No matter that her family might abandon or abuse her as a direct result of the pregnancy. This is not a concern.

Nor is it a concern when the mother is a crack addict, or an alcoholic, or suicidal, or locked in a relationship with a mentally or sexually abusive spouse. Or that the mother and father who are reprehensible enough to actually use abortion as birth control might not be ideal parents. This doesn’t matter. Nor does it matter that the baby will languish in an orphanage, or grow up in a ghetto, or not grow up at all, because mommy or daddy didn’t wanna take no lip from the screamin’ brat, and kicked it ‘til it died. That little consideration is of no consequence. They win their game when the baby lives: that’s all. The shit-hole existence the child actually gets to live in is all very interesting intellectually, but there are more fetuses to sling.

First of all, no one should be (or is..) in favor of killing babies. Infanticide and abortion are two different things. This point should be stressed, as anti-abortionists always minimize it. Some religions feel that one’s soul enters the body at the moment of birth. If this is so, the soul-less, physical vessel is, even moments before birth, no more human than the zygote at the moment of conception.

But if the soul does enter the body, at the moment of conception, and never sees the light of day due to miscarriage or abortion, is it without sin? Will it go to heaven? Now think about the unborn child. I am operating under the assumption that if a fetus dies, for whatever reason before birth; its soul goes directly to Heaven.

If this is not the case, do they burn in Hell for the sin of not being born? What is their sin? To me this sounds ludicrous. That wouldn’t be the reaction of a loving God. So in this circumstance, there is either one or the other.

Now how many of you Christians say the babies burn in Hell? Ok, then. So that leaves “Hey! One for God’s side!” So what’s the fuss? The soul receives free passage to where all the Christians wanna go; Heaven, and they don’t have to live through the soul-testing experiences of this “Hell on Earth.” Now stay with me here…

Maybe…the abortion is actually a spiritual test for the mother, and since baby gets to Heaven free, interference from those anti-abortionists is actually against God’s lesson for those involved, having nothing to do with the life of the child, whatsoever…. I know many women who’ve had abortions, and their lives have all been changed by the event. Some had dramatic reactions, some not. But they all learn things. About themselves, and others, what they are capable of doing and feeling, and what others are capable of feeling, saying and doing.

And then there’s the matter of those lucky little fetuses born into the heaven that is the life of an abused child. The little boy with cigarette burns and suspicious bruises, the little girl with semi-regular (2-5 times a week), stress-onset diarrhea, the daddies who shake, or beat, or intimidate, or molest, or who are absent, or the mothers guilty of the same behavior. And then there are others, who just weren’t wanted, facing their own set of disappointments, and humiliations. Operation Rescue, where are you? There are living children, right here, all around us, who need so much. Why won’t you help them?

There is the argument that, because this act is really only between that person and God (Ultimately, like all other acts), interference brought on by anti-abortionists interferes with the free will God offers.

Wow. Maybe, just maybe, that abortion would have changed one unknown woman and her self-destructive ways, whatever they might be. Maybe that act would have changed her husband or boyfriend, too. Maybe, through that one act, everything would or could change about them.

It’s all about free will and the free will to love God the way God wants you to. Everyone is on a different path. All will arrive, at different times, if they arrive at all, this time around. Yours is not condemn, but to love. Unless, that is, you think Jesus is wrong…

Central West End, St. Louis, 1995-1996

At the corner of Euclid and West Pine, there is an abortion clinic within a building of other doctor’s offices. Three or four times a week, a man and woman wore placards saying “Abortion Kills Babies” on one side, and a picture of an aborted fetus on the other, the famous “Silent Scream” picture. Fuckin’ perverse. You have to be a sicko to walk around with pictures of dead fetuses hanging off of you.

So they’d be there in the morning when I’d pass by, headed for work, wearing their placards, smug in their position. And everyday, I’d yell at them: “If you cared so much about babies like you say you do, why don’t you become foster parents or volunteer at an orphanage or find parents for the kids already born?” To which they would always say, “God bless you.” To which I’d say, “I don’t want your God’s blessing!” That’s always how it went when we crossed paths.

Fuck them. They just wanted to condemn others, stir up shit, and wear those placards. Radical “Pro-Lifers” are a bunch of fucking sadists, especially about their cause. Their definition of “Life” is so skewed. The zygote means more than the infant does. They kill the living protecting the unborn biology. All should live, but those who don’t agree should die. Sling a fetus for LIFE! Bomb a clinic or shoot a doctor for LIFE! How dare you. How dare you speak for God, for which you obviously know very little.

Shut up and fuck you. You can’t imagine the spectrum of circumstances out there, and the very real people who have them. This is not your garden to tend. Help the ones already born. They don’t need your dogma, just your compassion and aid. Like you and yours are so fond of saying, “just give it to God.”

No, you’re not. You can’t even imagine how very wrong you are.

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