Bath Salts May Be Behind Naked Man Confronting Girl In Park

This whole Zombies-and-bath-salts meme is super-inclusive.  Now we're including near misses with crazy homeless people, not even physical attacks.  Question to myself:  Am I prepetuating a false meme by reposting the story, even though my comments point to the artifice of said meme?  CBS Miami.  The Whole Thing:

The drug that made headlines after the causeway cannibal case is back in the news again.

This time, North Miami Beach Police said a man believed to be on bath salts stripped nearly naked at a childrens playground and threatened a three-year-old girl with sexual advances.

Police said surviellance video shows Shane Shuyler stripping in the tot lot and then going very close to a three-year-old girl.

The girl’s mother told police that she and her daughter had entered the park at 20th Avenue and NE 168th street and were headed to the tot lot when they saw Schuyler lying on a park bench. The woman said the man was completely naked and his genitals were exposed.



She told police she tried to walk past the man, but said he stood up, exposed his genitals to the girl.



The police report said he told the child, “Come here little girl, I want to stick it in you.”


The woman fled her with daughter. The man never got close to them.


The bizarre incident unfolded in the tot lot that is located literally in the back yard of the North Miami Beach Police Department. Police arrested Shuyler and a detective in court said his behavior could be explained through a drug called bath salts.

“In his wallet was what appears to be bath salts,” said the detective. “Upon talking to him, he made some statements to me which led me to believe that he was cooling off in the fountain by the tot lot because he was hot; which is consistent with ingesting bath salts.”



Mothers bringing their children to the park Monday were alarmed to learn about the story.

“Its so scary, its very scary,“ said Glorida Moutran, a mother of two young kids. “You would expect that it would be safe especially here like we said its next to a police station you would expect it would be safe.”

If this dude were a booze hound, would we be reading about this?  The exact same behavior, sans bath salts add whiskey?  No, we would not.  City life (not fucking suburban life..) affords these types of encounters; A lot of these encounters.  My distant past includes life in both St. Louis and Denver with no car.  I walked everywhere, or rode the bus.  This type of encounter with street people is not unusual;  I've had plenty of "near misses" with the agitated, the schizophrenic, the homeless..  Life in the city, babies.  It's just the way that it is.

This incident is more "Dumbass, waste-oid pedophile pervs it up next to cop shop; Gets caught," Don't you think?

Of interest regarding this widening meme, though:  Did the zombie insanity actually expose a serial killer?  Maybe..

Police: Miami cannibal was overdosing on new, super-potent LSD

Holy, holy shit.  Raw Story.  Entire article, but the last sentence and video(Go to the link if you want the video.  I won't watch it.):

Disturbing new details have emerged about an incident in Miami, Florida in which police shot and killed a man who was tearing off and eating another man’s face. According to Miami’s WSVN, the victim, who is believed to be homeless, lost 75 percent of his face in the attack and is in critical condition at Jackson Memorial Hospital. Police claim that the dead man was overdosing on a new, powerful form of Lysergic Acid Diethlymide, the hallucinogen commonly known as LSD.



Eyewitness Larry Vega was bicycling on the MacArthur parkway on Saturday afternoon when he saw the two naked men locked in a grisly struggle. The scene, he said, was like something from a horror movie.

“And the guy was like tearing him to pieces with his mouth, so I told him, ‘Get off!’” Vega said, “You know it’s like the guy just kept eating the other guy away like ripping his skin.”

Vega flagged down a police officer, who ordered the attacker to let his victim go. The attacker ignored him, but when the officer jumped the concrete divider and shouted, Vega said, “the guy just stood his head up like that with a piece of flesh in his mouth and growled.”


The officer opened fire, striking the suspect, who barely paused as he continued to rip away the homeless man’s face. The officer fired several more times until the attacker was dead.

More police swarmed the scene and the victim was caught on Miami Herald surveillance cameras as he struggled to sit up. His face, said Vega, “was just a blob of blood. You couldn’t really see, it was just blood all over the place.”

Police spokesman Armando Aguillar told reporters that the suspect may have been overdosing on a new, super-potent form of LSD. ”What’s happening is whenever we see that a person has taken all of his clothes off and has become violent, it’s indicative of this excited delirium that’s caused by overdose of drugs,” he said, “What’s happening is inside their body their organs are burning up alive.”

Neither man’s identity has been released to the public.

That's a real bad societal omen, don't you think?  Awesome. At best, this is "Killer LSD Side Effects Include Severe, Violent Zombie-ism, Flesh Eating, Hyper-Strength, And Bullet-Tolerance."  At its worst, this is "Zombie Attacks Man; Eats Face.  Cause Of Event; Unknown."  Has Science finally created a new type of drug, similar to whatever it mimics, but much, much stronger and horrifying?  Is there really a need for hyper-violent hallucinogens?  Could we not work on technology that helps humanity, not fills it with The Hallucinating Undead?

Instead, we get Zombie LSD.  Or Zombies.  Par for the course in "Universe B." 

Also:  I'm not totally convinced this isn't a zombie, or something similar to that archetype..  The small, but high-profile  flesh eating bacteria outbreaks around the world are..  Disturbing, and terribly coincedental.  And yes, this is 2012, so, well, whatever happens; Happens..

Stories like this make me really doubt our chances for survival.