A startling discovery in Cole County Sunday has some residents wondering, 'what’s going on?' (Really? I think just about everyone paying attention to this unfolding of events is a little beyond "What's going on?")
A number of birds were found dead much like they have been found in other parts of the country and world. But it might not be as uncommon as you might think. (I'm freaked out, yet strangely re-assured..)
In recent weeks large numbers of birds have fallen out of the sky without explanation. (Whoa.. Slow down: I'm overwhelmed with information.. So specific, even..)The deaths hadn’t hit mid-Missouri, until now. (Dun Dun..
DUH!)
Although we’re not talking about thousands of birds like in
Arkansas. (All right; everyone stay calm..)
..
A KRCG viewer Jennifer Timbers called when she found about 30 dead Starlings in the middle of Rockridge Rd. near Frog Hollow in Cole County.
"No fireworks, we don’t have a hail storm, which I heard that was one of the original theories of this,” Timbers said. “But no, the weather was just an average winter evening." (Jennifer Timbers knows things.)
And:
Of course the deaths of these animals have sparked conspiracy theories, but scientists say the deaths in Arkansas were most likely due to fireworks. (Fireworks? Easily the most ridiculous of all conspiracy theories, a.k.a., "The Official Story.")
However, we still have a mystery on our hands as to why the birds died in mid Missouri. (Screw those pansy 5000 dead blackbirds in pansy ass Ar. Kan. Saw. 30 birds died in Missouri! Won't somebody think of the
children?)
I agree. Too glib. I'll revert back to "Doomtastic" tomorrow..
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