Perception, or hallucination? January 1994

Sometimes, while dancing at the Copa, if I was intoxicated or manic enough, I could see thin lines of light or connecting webs of energy from all those dancing around me, to me, and to others throughout the building. It was brilliant, with energy, lights, motion, and the feeling of having tapped into something not of this plane. No thought was necessary to dance. Coordination operated from the subconscious, along with access to these perceptions, normally hidden.

Sometimes the experience was so powerful the music would fade, leaving my breathing as the only sound. I became acutely aware of the synchronicity of our collective movements. I was also able to imagine how the dynamics of the people in this one bar on this block in this town connected with people all over, and how my, and their, dancing, their movements, their behaviors, contribute to the overall rhythm of our existence. These flashes were beautiful, powerful, temporary, and comforting in the way that, to me, proved there was indeed some higher power at work. And what wasn’t understood by the whole of us was still all right, as the divine is (of course) beyond our comprehension.

But something always brought me back. An obnoxious drunk, laughter, another dancer bumping into me… The music would return. The connections would dissipate. And I would again be left on this plane, intoxicated, disappointed, and disoriented by what had happened.