The little match girl

Leighanne had small breasts, for a stripper. She looked like Uma Thurman all beat up, after spending an inordinate amount of time in bars, either working or drinking. She was wild, outrageous, and took delight in shocking others, embracing and provoking The Unexpected. Laughing, a smile bursting into a laughter, then an incredibly filthy comment, followed by more laughter was always part of the conversation. That’s how she was, and still is, for all I know.

Her bar-trick claim to fame was splitting matches, putting them on her breasts, and lighting the matches with another lit match dangling tight from her mouth, then dancing around. Visually, it was a little more stunning than that description. She never drank beer, only clear liquids. She loved shots, too.

She came to One Saloon a couple of times when I still worked there. I could hang out when we weren’t busy, so I would talk with her and her friend(s) when they drank. She came in once with one other guy, and they stood at the main bar, drinking and watching the strippers. She flirted with one stripper, and he flirted back, in the way that gay men flirt with straight women, along with some condescension thrown in, as he was unavailable to her.

She called him down to her, as he was dancing on the main bar, just above us. He wriggled down, smiling, as Leighanne says to him, "I wanna smack your ass!" The stripper laughs, clearly delighted, for whatever reason, and said "Yeah—Ok!" He turned around and bent over, sticking his ass in her face, confident of a sexy (but bearable) spanky spank from this little girly-girl here.

Leighanne looked over at us, arched one eyebrow, licked her palm, slung her arm back, and struck the stripper as if she were holding a whip. Only, it was her hand. The sound was a loud, bass-y resounding pop! The sound was full. It had legs. It had chops. Tears involuntarily welled in the stripper’s eyes. He was visibly shaken.

I think his feelings were hurt, too, as a lot of people were laughing. Leighanne was laughing, too, and trying to get the stripper to turn back around so she could see the welt develop.

Spicy, she was.