Flashback: In The Lair Of The Europeans

In the lair of the Europeans, December 1994

"Why don’t you close your eyes and re-invent me?"
-Massive Attack, "Mezzanine"

Sticking close to Ana, my security, not knowing them, unfamiliar, unsure, and yet…

Limbo, the treetop bar, overlooking Duval, close to midnight, on a still warm December night. I am with Ana, of course, and Nathalie, Sharon, and Elan, sometimes Helen and Stephan, and the gay Israeli guy who likes me (and I kinda like him, but I’m still with ___, so no…) are there, too. The trade winds are blowing most pleasantly, and there are some girls dancing in front of the DJ, who is from England (not that that makes him cool or nuthin’) and who is more than competent…

The bar catered to this fun, young, gorgeous, international crowd that was so nice to look at. But most of the time, I was quiet. Observing them, shy, intimidated by these interesting, rounded, sophisticated young adults, some of them, anyway (sophisticated, that is), their hands extended in friendship to me.

I wear a baseball cap, flannel shirt, smoke Marlboro Reds, and drink Budweiser. "You are so American." They say. "And yet you are not."

They are curious of me, also.